Last night was going good. I had dinner. I went to Comedy night at the Loft downtown. It was hilarious and made me laugh till I cried-- twice.
Then I went home.
There I learned the most disturbing news I have ever heard. It hit home right in the center of my heart -- litterally like a piping hot spear had hit me in the chest.
I didn't know what to do. I can't run. It's 11:00 at night and scary, bad people are on the streets at this time. Sleeping is not an option. I can't call anyone because I am only about 10% sure of anything I had just heard.
So I cried. and I cried.. and I cried..
|wow. that's a good one.|
And then I stopped crying. And I started thinking [outloud] to myself "What are you doing?" .. I had done nothing wrong. I was wronged. By crying more I am only allowing the situation to affect me more. And that has got to stop.
I must have talked out loud to myself for a solid 2 hours.
I decided I am going to be strong throughout this situation. Not just SAY I'm going to do it, but I am. I've wasted enough energy worrying and stressing and questioning. That is over and strength is in.
I also decided I am going to have hope. I am going to live on hope that the future will be better. That this is the lowest point this situation can come to and that there are brighter days ahead. If I don't live like this, how will I live?
I am going to have confidence in myself. The things that are going to change in my life are not going to hurt me. I am going to be "okay". And I'm going to make it to the other side a happier person.
|... i'm workin on it.|