Strength, Hope, Confidence, Faith

These four words are getting me through this week.

Last night was going good. I had dinner. I went to Comedy night at the Loft downtown. It was hilarious and made me laugh till I cried-- twice.

Then I went home.

There I learned the most disturbing news I have ever heard. It hit home right in the center of my heart -- litterally like a piping hot spear had hit me in the chest.

I didn't know what to do. I can't run. It's 11:00 at night and scary, bad people are on the streets at this time. Sleeping is not an option. I can't call anyone because I am only about 10% sure of anything I had just heard.

So I cried.    and I cried.. and I cried..




wow. that's a good one.

 
And then I stopped crying. And I started thinking [outloud] to myself "What are you doing?" .. I had done nothing wrong. I was wronged. By crying more I am only allowing the situation to affect me more. And that has got to stop.

I must have talked out loud to myself for a solid 2 hours.

I decided I am going to be strong throughout this situation. Not just SAY I'm going to do it, but I am. I've wasted enough energy worrying and stressing and questioning. That is over and strength is in.

I also decided I am going to have hope. I am going to live on hope that the future will be better. That this is the lowest point this situation can come to and that there are brighter days ahead. If I don't live like this, how will I live?

I am going to have confidence in myself. The things that are going to change in my life are not going to hurt me. I am going to be "okay". And I'm going to make it to the other side a happier person.



Lastly, I am keeping Faith- as I always should. but faith in this situation. Faith that I've learned something. Faith that God won't throw more than I can catch.

 

... i'm workin on it.





I feel so much better now.

Something's not right

I just got done with a quick little project at work that consumed my life for a quick little 2 whole days.

Whew, it's 4:29 pm, is that too late for breakfast?

I would love to tell you what's going on in my life, but to be honest I have no clue. My heart is in such a confusing place right now. My mind wants everything in the world to be giggly and happy and stupid like usual, but my heart is juuuust... soooo.. heavvyy. I think it has something to do with this upcoming holiday-- and I think I might be broken. I have just been *consumed* with thinking about this weekend (when my brain isn't consumed with charts and presentations and formulas). I don't even know how to explain what's wrong-- but I can truly say that everything isn't right.

...I think I'd rather beat around the bush than try to actually figure out what I'm trying to say-- so please bear with me.



I've been trying to surround myself with happy people and things & today my bloggy buddy *Trisha* posted these beautiful things that made me honestly smile-- and for that I am so thankful.

These aren't a perfect fix to a fractured heart but they certainly will mend temporarily:



..sometimes that's hard to remember, so why not have a reminder?

okay, I guess I just needed to get some things out there.


I'm gonna go home in 35 mintues and have a nice cold adult beverage. That should do the trick!


Later ya'll!



New Orleans Service Trip

Holla Holla!!

I got home last night from a fantastic 4 days in New Orleans! & let me tell you i had ZERO desire to come to work today-- which might be why I slept in until 8am, rolled into work at 9am, took a long lunch (for new fingernails and gel pens haha) & now I'm blogging. I just can't get back into it!!

All in all this year's trip to NOLA was a success! My group of friends has been going down there since as early as 6 months after Katrina hit the area. & As a group, we've been going for the last 3 years. Every year we go we're still shocked by the things we see and the progress that's not been made in some parts of the city.

photo: realworldhouses.com

I'd say the biggest shock for me this year was the realization of how different parts of the city can be. We went to see the Real World New Orleans house since it was somewhat close to the Hostel we were staying in and I came back surprised to see that there are parts of NO that look like they were never touched by disaster and then there are parts of NO, like the Treme Charter School [where we volunteered] that are still battling Katrina like it was yesterday. It really makes me sad. But at the same time it reminds me why we continue to go to New Orleans every year-- because the JOB ISN'T DONE. These people and that city still needs OUR HELP until things are put back into their places. It's finished for some parts of the city, but in others it's still too early to stop working. There is unbelieveable disarray in huge sections of NO that the government and private and public and so many other entities are giving up on.

But this post really isn't intended to be political or persuasive or anything like that. This is just how it is. I guess my servant heart is speaking to me today :)


Okay Okay-- enough of that mushy, heartbraking, serious stuff!! I haven't uploaded my camera pictures yet but here are some fun DROID pics I snapped this weekend!

 The Joint
This is an AMAZING little BBQ restaurant that my group has now visited twice. They have the BEST smoked macaroni and cheese!!

This is right down the street from The Joint, saw this sign last year and it's just as hilarious in 2011!

This is a mural on the wall in the elementary school we worked in. There were 8 children killed in that school during the last school year.

We spent Sunday wandering around the French Quarter! I got new glasses last week and I'm still trying to get used to the look of them.

& YOU KNOW we had to go waste some money at Harrah's right? haha.

Apart from all the seriousness, we really did have fun! We tutored children. We served snacks. We built a garden. We learned. We saw. We remembered. We praised. We laughed. We ATE and ATE and ATE. We drank. We danced. We sang. We drank some more and then we danced some more. Ohhh & HEY WE FLASHMOBBED BOURBON STREET TOO!! haha. [video will come soon!]

New Orleans 2011 = SUCCESS!

I hope ya'll enjoyed this one, I certainly did! :)

Happy Tuesday!

<3k*